Parenting After Separation

When you separate from your child’s other parent, you both need to make decisions like where the children will live, who will make major decisions, and how much time the children will spend with each parent.

These arrangements are sometimes informal, based on a spoken agreement or on the routine that naturally develops after separation. You can also make more a formal written agreement signed by both of you.

If you and the other parent can’t come to an agreement, one of you can also apply to the court for a parenting order.

The kinds of decisions you must make as parents include:

  • Which school your children will attend
  • What medical care they will receive
  • The cultural or religious upbringing they will have

The responsibility to make these important decisions is called “decision-making responsibility.”

When your child is in your care and under your supervision, this is called parenting time. This includes times when you are responsible for your child, but they are in school, at day care, or at an extra curricular activity.

You and your child’s other parent can write down your agreements about decision-making responsibility and parenting time. Both parents should sign the agreement and have a witness sign it as well. It can also be helpful to have this agreement reviewed by a lawyer.

The child’s best interest must always be the first consideration when making decisions about parenting arrangements. To evaluate the child’s best interests, the Family Law Act and the Divorce Act both include a list of factors courts can consider. This includes things like:

  • The child’s needs and maturity
  • The parents’ willingness to communicate
  • The child’s relationships with their parents
  • The child’s relationship with other adults like siblings and grandparents
  • The child’s cultural background
  • The impact family violence has had on the child

When you and your child’s other parent cannot agree on important decisions about the child, like which parenting time schedule is in the child’s best interests, you can try to resolve your disagreements by:

  • Talking about your concerns with one another and trying to come to an agreement,
  • Using professional help like a mediator or a lawyer to resolve the issue and come to an agreement, or
  • Applying to the court for a parenting order.

Adults who are not parents can ask for time with a child when they believe it is in the child’s best interests. When parents don’t agree to allow this time, those adults can also apply to the court for a contact order. A contact is a court order saying that someone is allowed to spend time with the child through visits, phone calls, video calls, or other arrangements the court agrees would be appropriate.

The kinds of people who most often apply for contact orders include:

  • Grandparents
  • Adult siblings
  • Former step-parents
  • Aunts and uncles